Where I needed to be
Follow interestingness, and the world will unfold as it should
“I may not have gone where I wanted to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be”
Spark notes
I think interestingness should be a key measure of ones life. Both in and of itself, and for where it may lead. That likely means your best plans will be left unfollowed, but life has a great way of smashing your plans anyway, so I wouldn’t worry too much.
Even if you wish to maximise financial success, I think interestingness is often a great metric. Humans are ok at local maximisation, but terrible at global maximisation, and interestingness can help you escape that. Top AI researchers now are there because they followed their interests over a decade ago. They were where they needed to be.
Equally, truly painful moments can improve us as people; suffering often does not break us, but break us open. This is especially true for many men in our current world, including myself. We don’t want suffering, but often we need it.
So I think linear paths are unlikely to be the right ones for many. People should be more comfortable with ‘taking a step backwards’, if it leads to somewhere interesting. Follow interestingness, and have faith - a belief in some sort of fate - that you will end up somewhere you like; even if the path has some bumps.
After all, you might not go where you planned, but you might just end up where you needed to be.
Thoughts
I’ve always been a believer in fate. Not in the ‘we live in a deterministic world’ sort of way, but in the ‘this is all happening for a reason’ sort of way. It’s one of my least rational world views, but I feel it very strongly.
Steve Jobs is often quoted as saying:
“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking back. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.”
Given we can only live life going forward (I think), this raises the question: how do we find the right dots? and why are some dots truly painful?
Interestingness is my goal I’ll first address the seeking of the dots: my answer is that we should seek interestingness^1, and it’s one of my primary life goals.
My very simple litmus test is this: I imagine I’m lying on my deathbed, two scenarios:
- I die with $1bn in the bank, having mostly lived behind a screen, with few close relationships.
- I simply think, “well that was an incredible ride”, and reminisce one last time with my little brother, my friends, & my family, on the adventures we shared. I’d pick 2 any day. In fact, if combined with my other goal of positive impact, I can’t imagine any other scenario where I’m satisfied on my death bed.
Of course there are caveats. I’d like to be wealthy: money enables freedom & travel, impact, and looking after those you care about. I.e. it contributes to interestingness. But it’s a means not an end.
So how do I make it an interesting ride? Almost tautologically, it’s by doing interesting things.
Now, interestingness will differ from person to person: it’s shaped by your own experiences and desires; and it’s path dependent. But to me it’s like the supreme courts definition of obscenity:
I can’t define it easily, but “I know it when I see it” In effect, you have a personal compass built in that will give you the gut feeling.
For me, so far, it’s been trying many things in my (currently) 29 years on earth. Career wise I’ve studied at the weird and wonderful Oxford, worked for a billionaire, consulted at BCG, gone back to university, built a startup and left it, and now lead a team working with AI startups at OpenAI. But I’ve also opted out of corporate life for a while, taking a year off to travel the world: hitchiking across Uzbekistan, Kyrgzstan and Kazakhstan, and travelling Mongolia with my younger brother; partying to Brazilian Funk in Rocinha Favella & to techno in Berlin; swimming in lakes and watching sunsets on mountaintops. I’ve been deeply in love, and had my heart utterly broken. I’ve competed in many sports: football, futsal, rugby, karate and gymnastics, but now I simply enjoy the gym; and played many instruments from the guitar to the flute. And I adore reading Seneca, but also finance novels and listening to Warhammer 40k audio books^2.
[photo with K]
The point is that this is NOT cool to everyone - indeed, many people despise corporate life so my career sounds like hell, I know some friends think i’m far too obsessed with work; others prefer to travel to stunning beaches. (and then there’s the Warhammer…). But whilst I haven’t found my ‘great work’ yet, I find the search interesting.
And most of the time, when you find something novel and interesting, it leads you to more novel and interesting things. So it’s like an endless game.
(1 Whilst I had thought I had come up with this myself, of course this fits very nicely with ll of Kenneth Stanley’s work on Open Endedness. I dont subscribe to all of his writing, and some of the findings in AI do not hold more generally, I think he articulates a general point excellently. 2 Yes those little paintable models. Honestly the depth of lore is incredible.)
Interestingness will lead me to wealth & impact
The wonderful thing about interestingness, is I also think it leads to other great outcomes.
There are many examples of following interestingness leading to incredible outcomes - Steve Jobs’ famous caligraphy class which shaped him starting Apple; Marie Curie going into radioactivity when it was not an established & well funded field, to change our understanding of the world; or even Richard Feynman who was notoriously curious, leading not only to exceptional physics but also excellent literature.
The best example right now is AI - a lot of people are trying to become AI researchers, because the salaries are so high. We read about $100m offers and it’s easy to see why. But the real winners are the people who, a decade or two ago, were obsessed with AI. With their STEM skills they could have earned hundreds of thousands in quant finance, but instead researched AI - so when the takeoff happened in the early 2020s, they had the necessary experience. Their interests, not financial optimisation, led to generational wealth. Local maximisation would not have been the global maxima.
I think the reason for this financial upside is as simple as:
- if you follow interestingness, you tend to work pretty hard because you genuinely love what you do, so you become excellent.
- It helps you be early to a field, and that’s where truly outlier outcomes tend to exist, though of course there’s risk with being early too.
So seek interestingness and you’ll end up where you need to be.
Use the bad dots as small sparks
Now let’s briefly examine the bad side of life’s unpredictability. It’s quite a religious notion to say suffering has a purpose, and honestly sometimes suffering is just bad. There’s not always a clear silver lining.
But I think you can normally find a small spark if you squint hard enough.
First, it can bring opportunity. Take one of the kindest and most interesting billionaires i’ve ever met, who founded and sold a hair care company. Why did he start it? Because his hair started thinning and all the existing solutions had horrendous side effects. That suffering was his small spark.
Second, because it can force you to take action. The region beta paradox is as follows: when things are great, there’s no reason to change; when they’re terrible, people are good at making changes; but when things are just bad, inertia often keeps people from making the changes they need to. And deep suffering can provide that impetus for change.
This was evident in my own life. Whilst I will avoid details for now, I struggled with my mental health growing up; and whilst I advocated loudly for friends to confide in me and go to therapy, advocating strongly for mens mental health, I viewed myself as the strong one who did not need support. I was the foundation, and I seemed to be doing well, so I was not allowed the help.
It took total heartbreak for me to finally need support - to finally have confide in friends, and go to therapy. And since then, life has been infinitely better - my relationship with friends is much more open, mutually, and I find genuine joy in life. I was not broken, but broken open.
That heartbreak was one of the best things that has ever happened to me. It wasn’t where I wanted to go, and I would never choose someone to go through that pain. But it was where I needed to be. And I think this is quite a common story for men who, with society stigmatising mens mental health issues despite lip service to the opposite, often require themselves to be destroyed before they can rebuild.
So have faith that despite no-one wanting suffering, it might be where you needed to be.
So how should I live?
Seek interestingness and have faith. Be comfortable with non-linearity.
First, make big career changes. Many people in their 20s tell me that they wish they were more technical, but it’s too late to learn. More people should make big career changes. Simple maths again: even if you’re 30, you probably have 40 years left of your career. So even a FULL 3 YEAR undergrad would then leave you with 37 amazing years to enjoy your new career. And that’s ignoring that people with multiple intersecting skills can outperform even further, so it might not even be a step back.
Second, I wish the world put more emphasis on unstructured time. I asked a room of MBA alumni how many of them had ever taken time off, without knowing what’s next. The vast majority had not. It’s typically seen as better to line up a new job before you leave. But if your current job is intense, how can we expect our minds to have the space to explore? To find interests? I hope everyone takes a break at some point in their life, without knowing what’s next.
Third, just do interesting things. I’ll talk about overproductivity in another small spark, but not everything has to be immediately productive. If you love programming, even if you’re not very good at it, just build stuff - you’ll get good soon. Try new sports, maybe you’ll find one your body fits more naturally. Visit more places, maybe you’ll find a culture where you feel more at home. The first queston people tend to ask about a new hobby, when you tell them you’ve picked up painting or an instrument, is “are you any good at it?”. That’s the wrong question and we should call that out.
Life is an expore-exploint tradeoff, seek interestingness and explore more. If you find something truly interesting, you’ll be much better at exploiting too.
“And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.”
I’ve never really had a life plan.
I’d love to have some sort of grand vision, a direction for when I’m feeling lost, but I just never have. And over time I’ve become comfortable with that.
The universe is unfolding as it should, so seek the interesting; as we tell our stories, make yours a good read.
Life will break your plans, it will give you experiences both interesting and terrible. But whichever they are, they will shape you as they should.
Remind yourself: you are where you needed to be. And you choose where you go from here.